The Sabertooth Tiger and the Archaeopteryx

Oh wow!  So, I was sabertoothed again today.  I apparently have obtained another undesired sabertooth tiger.  Today, at Dash-In it happened.  She tried to tip me in my chair and had a Archaeopteryx woman to help her, commenting "Isn't she cute?" after the attempt.  When I shrugged it off, she appeared to be annoyed as if I had just insulted her friend.

Wait, so that made no sense out of context.  So, maybe I should give the background story of how I have a Sabertooth tiger.  Well, here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for, the treat for withstanding 2 weeks off from reading the best unknown blog on the internet: the story of the title.

This occured at some country western bar in North FW.  I was with a few friends, after seeing Moonlight Kingdom earlier in the day.  I had no idea what was in store for me that night.  We were apparently meeting up at the bar with a 55 year old woman.  I really did not think much of this.  But when she got there, it seemed to be a little awkward.  Basically, she seemed to take interest in me.  At one point in the night, she asked to hear my life story.  I, of course, said I have no life story.  But she pressed further.  So, I gave in and began to tell some excerpts of my life.  However, we were at opposite ends of the table, it was a loud bar, and she may have been hard of hearing.  But she was unable to hear what I was saying.  So she said, and I quote, this is no joke, "I can't hear you.  I guess I'll need to hear your story another time.  Maybe we will make it a Bedtime story."  In shock, I commented "WHAT?!."  "Maybe we will make it a Bedtime story."  (yes she litrally repeated it)  You're probably thinking, maybe this was just an innocent comment, but afterward she turned to my friends, who are in a state of shock and trying with all of their might not to burst out laughing and said "I don't think he gets it." Afterwards, my friends were laughing at the comment made by, what they referred to as a "cougar."  I called foul, 55 is too old to be a cougar.  One of my friends suggested "Saber Tooth Tiger," we all enjoyed that and it stuck.  And there you have it, BEDTIME STORIES FOR MY SABER TOOTH TIGER.

But, back to the new story, which should make complete sense to everyone now right?

Well, I guess you're probably wondering what the Archaeopteryx that travels with this specific breed of Saber Tooth tiger is.  Well, that word is the name for a prehistoric bird, and it greek it directly translates to "Ancient Wing."  Yes, this sabertooth tiger had an "actient wing woman."  I was again their prey.  Aren't I a lucky guy?  Oh, awkwark moments (possible future post).

Goodnight Cathy

Trains

I hate trains. I am currently taking a train from Chicago to SB and its awful.  Well, we stayed in the city much to late and ended up taking the last train out.   That is 11:15 central time...which is actually 12:15 for us normal people.  That os late when you wake up at 5:30am.  I am currently in this awkward state where I am too tired to legitimately be awake but I can't actually sleep.  This train is too noisy and it smells bad.

Seriously, aren't trains the worst?  Not to mention, my nemisis train resides in Fort Wayne.  It has made me plenty late for golf and mad monday among, well, other things.  I just need to get off this train.

"You got caught in the water, can't stand in the water!"

I bought a cubs hat today.  I also got some delicious Goose Island.  I am looking at a ridiculous train picture.

Wow, look at that tired babling.  I'm so sorry...but tired.

Goodnight Cathy.

Being T-Rayn

(So me and my friend Bo Twhuangles, author of matthewtwhuang.com made the decision to each start a blogging segment where each of us blog a day in the life type post of the same person, which will be agreed upon prior to starting the blog post.  These posts will be titled "Being _____", like "Being John Malcovich."  Our first victim is our mutual friend, T-Rayn.  We will try to keep people as anonymous as possible, but we'll see. I am listening to R.E.M. as I write this post)

A Familiar Look

"Shiny happy people laughing
Meet me in the crowd
People, people
Throw your love around
Love me, love me
Take it into town
Happy, happy
Put it in the ground
Where the flowers grow
Gold and silver shine"

Ahhhhh the alarm clock, time to get to work, oh man.  Oh well, what a great song to wake up to.  And I'm in a good mood, as last night was quite a Mad Monday, with great beer and the quietest drinking anyone can imagine.  I get out of bed and head to my kitchen for a delicious cup of Old Crown coffee and stare at the photos of my two favorite girls on the mantle above my fireplace...awkwardly as can be...all by myself.

Everyday, give yourself a present.  It doesn't matter what it is, don't plan it, just let it happen.

Oh man, look at the time, time to head to RayRay to spend yet another day with the great people of B2.  I grab my favorite green jacket and swish my way down to my Mazda 6, the best car.  I immediately notice that my gas tank is a bit low and I should stop on the way to work to fill up.  However, I immediately remember, there is no BP gas station on the way!  I must drive out of my way to get only the best gas, what my car craves.  I won't make it into work until 9AM, but, really, who cares?   I fill up, and my car squirts out of happiness from receiving delicous BP gas.

Everyday, give your car a present. It doesn't matter what it is, don't plan it, just let it happen.

Finally, I'm on the way to work.  On the way, I see a sign saying "Welcome to the City of Fort Wayne."  I just grin and shake my head.  This isn't a "real city," a "real city" has at least 19 million people.  *Sigh*.  When I finally make it into work, I realize that I need some refueling myself.  I head up to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite to eat before work.  Oh wow, PANCAKES, those sound delicious!  But do the have real maple syrup, of course not, it's the RayRay cafe.  Oh well, I'll just grab a breakfast sandwich and a cup of tea.  I head back to my desk, and eat my breakfast.  The entire time, I wish the the sandwich was a plate of pancakes with real maple syrup and the cup of tea was a nice glass of Johnny Walker Black Label scotch on the rocks. 

Everyday, give yourself a present. It doesn't matter what it is, don't plan it, just let it happen, even if it's not exactly what you want.

After breakfast, I decide to get to work, for I have some crazy enforcing to do, while my cube neighbor Scotty Schwarz does some vacuuming.  But, before I enforce, I must send everybody a message over chat, displaying a picture of their hometown city with "Good Morning, (home state)" written across the top.  DONE!

Everyday, give your great coworkers a present. It doesn't matter what it is, don't plan it, just let it happen.  It will make their morning, (Well, maybe)

Now, where was I?  Oh yeah, working.

*Hours pass, work, enforce, chat*

Suddenly, I realize, it's 12:15, time to get lunch with all my friends.  I head to the cafeteria, and everything kinda sucks.  So I grab 2.0 and we head out to Chipotle, the empire that I am the mayor of (on Foursquare).  I enjoy a great barbacoa beef burrito, inside, where it's not too windy, or too hot, or too sunny, or too loud.  "Half hour" lunch.

Everyday, give yourself a present. It doesn't matter what it is, don't plan it, just let it happen, even if you have to blow off your friends in the caf.

*Hours pass, work, enforce, chat*

(Oh no, I'm beginning to crave the deliciousness that is a craft beer, from my favorite bar, The Dash-In)

*Hours pass, work, enforce, chat*

5:30PM! Work Done!  I put my green jacket back on and swish my way back to my ol' Mazda.  Back in my apartment, I realize that I still do not have internet in my apartment.  So I spend the next 15 minutes on the phone with Comcast, getting my internet to work.  It goes incredibly smooth and I am free to use the internet however I like.  So, I get on skype and talk with my girl, "Mrs. T-Rayn" (AKA The Mrs.)  However, I tell my friends that I am still on the phone with Comcast. 

Everyday, give yourself a present. It doesn't matter what it is, don't plan it, just let it happen, even when you have to lie to get what you want.

Would you look at the time!  It's 10pm! Wow, time flies when you're talking with the Mrs.  Leeroy, Scott, and Twhuangski have been at The Dash since 8. I throw on my ND game day T-shirt, my ol' pumas and head downtown. Awesome, now I can get what I really wanted, a Red's Rye. 

I take a sip, then a full drink, then I just take the rest.  Oh yeah, I'll have another.

Ahhhhhhhhh, yeah this is all I really wanted, all I needed, and definitely what I deserved.  What a great way to end the day.

Everyday, give yourself a present. It doesn't matter what it is, don't plan it, just let it happen.

Goodnight Mrs, goodnight friends, goodnight Cathy (of course).

(Enjoy T-Ray, T-Ray's family, Friends)

Check here for Matthew TW Huang's take on "Being T-Rayn"

Goodnight Cathy (from me now).

Seasoned Veterans

OH NO!

So today was the start of our Wiffleball tournament at work.  It is a great opportunity to get outside during lunch time at work and just have a great time.  My friend Twhuang and I decided to start our own team this year called the Wafflers. (Oh, yeah).  This turned out to be more of an ordeal than we thought it would be.  The rule that we must have two girls on the field at all times made setting up a team difficult, since there are a lack of females at our work already, and many of them are leaving us or already joined other teams.  (I think we smell bad).  But, it all worked out, and we set up a team that was seemingly dominant.  I mean, c'mon, we were a team of young, energetic, atheltic people ready to knock some out of the park and score (my prediction) at least 7 runs per game and win 5 in a row for the championship.  I may have been a little cocky.

A lot cocky.

It did not go well.  We lost 5-1.  My solo shot in the 3rd inning was the only mark on the board.  I wouldn't say the team we were playing was "old" but they were definitely older than us.  And 5-1 doesn't even give the blowout justice.  They had quite a few more hits than we did and there were at least 2 innings that we faced less than 5 pitches as a team.  These experienced veterans were much better than us, and it turns out, team chemistry was important, as they have been a team for the past 3 (or 4) years.

Now this loss was very dissapointing, and it got me thinking, I have lost to some "seasoned veterans" quite a bit since this summer began.  I am also in a golf league, made up of mostly retirees from my company.  Guess how many matches me and my teammate LeRoy have won.  TAKE IT LEBRON!!!



Well, LeBron, you're definitely closer this time, just not quite correct.  We have not won 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, or 7 times.  We have, in fact, won ZERO times.  These retirees kick our ass week after week.  The closest we have come is 12.5 to 5.5 and we are in dead last in the league.  I mean, they do get out there and play a heck of a lot more than us, since much of our time is spent working or drinking at the Dash-In.  However, they also need to use a 3 wood for shots that I use a 7 iron for, surely we could win at least one, right? Nopety, nopety, nope.

Well, luckly, I have some oppotunities to stop this trend coming up.  We have a golf match tomorrow afternoon and our first game in the losers bracket of the Wiffleball tournament on Thursday.  I hope I will be able to seize one of those opportunities for a victory.  We shall see.  I know my sabertooth tiger is probably cheering against me in my quest for a victory over the experienced.

But, still, Goodnight Cathy.

PS, there was a saber tooth tiger sighting today, made by my very own golf partner.  (Allegedly)

PPS tomorrow will begin a special new joint blogging section with matthewtwhuang.com .  BE EXCITED!!

Just another MAD Monday...

Oh no! Dumb dog.



So today was another Monday, and after a long weekend of PTO, it dragged along even worse than a normal Monday.  Most people would say Monday is the worst day of the weekend.  The day we have to wake up early again and spend the entire day catching up on all the work we slacked off on the previous Friday.  So earlier this year, our favorite New Yorker friend came up with a great idea for Mondays.  DRINK BEER!! And so started MAD Monday.

What a fantastic idea.  Is there a better reason to drink than because "it's Monday?" Also, we get a bonus that our favorite (only) local Brewpub has half off pints on Monday.  It started with just 3 people and a dream of something bigger.  Eventually, more of our people began to shuffle in.  We even had a group from Chicago join us for a few weeks.  But, seriously, they are just a great time with great people, and good beer, to pick us up after an already long week.  Today was no different.  It was, in fact, a great MAD monday experience.

The weather tonight was great, mid-70s, meaning we could actually sit outside.  Tonight was our favorite interns' last MAD monday before heading back to their respective schools soon.  Like all MAD Mondays, we had a great time, with some ridiculous conversations.  We also made some exciting plans for the coming summer/fall days.  We also had the opportunity to meet new friends, like Sarah.  She may not have wanted to meet us, and learn how we each had between 2 and 5 names, but great things always happen on Monday.  (Persistance never fails, I think.)  Surely it was a great pick me up that will make getting through the week that much easier.  (Should be an interesting week, including trips to Indy, Chi-town, and WIFFLE BALL.)  What a great Monday!

So the moral of the story is: why be a putz and hate Mondays when you can just drink beer instead?

Goodnight Cathy.

Sasquatch and Ninja Sasquatch

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Tonight,  I am going to tell you all the story of my many sasquatch sightings so far this summer.  Yes, he is real.  Yes, there are more than one and they are different.  And yes, they are capable of being dangerous.  Also, they both seem to reside here, in Fort Wayne,  IN, lurking around golf courses all over town.

I first spotted sasquatch late spring/early summer this year at Brookwood Golf Club.  He is black and, believe it or not, he wears a yellow and silver shirt.  He, as you would expect, has typical Bigfoot tendencies and always finds the trees.  He definitely prefers the thick stuff.  This makes the golf course a great place for sasquatch to live.  Also, to my surprise, sasquatch is also a huge fan of the sand.  He must love taking vacations to the beach.  I have spotted this sasquatch quite a few times.  And he has been pretty good to me.

More recently, I have discovered a second sasquatch hanging around the local golf courses.  This one seems to be much more dangerous but also much more interesting to see in action, as he is much more powerful.  He is much bigger, all black, and armed with ninja stars.  Me, and a few of my friends who have also spotted him,  refer to him as the Ninja Sasquatch.  He is a huge fan of the thick trees, so you definitely need to be on your heels when he's around.  In fact, it was just today I spotted him at Colonial Oaks while on the tenth tee box.  He found his way all the way to the thick tree line bordering the left side of the 18th hole.  Fortunately, I recovered from this sighting and had a pretty good day on the golf course.  He doesn't appear to be a big fan of the sand, like the other one.  He has been alright to me a few times, but when he's in a bad mood, he gets very hostile.  That's when you see his ninja stars come out and cause grave danger.

So now all of you know that when golfing in town to keep an eye out for the two sasquatches running amok around the local golf courses.  I really wonder what would happen if my saber tooth tiger met the one of the sasquatches (sp?).  I heard a saber tooth tiger cub met one a couple years ago around Thanksgiving, and it didn't work out too well for the Tiger who was with th saber tooth tiger cub.  That is all I have for tonight.  I hope you enjoyed it!

Goodnight Cathy.

(I wonder if anyone will be able to figure out what I'm actually talking about.)

BONUS POST: Awkward Moment of the Day 8/4/2012

So today, I attended Brew Haven, a craft beer "festival" (if you will) in beautiful(?) New Haven, Indiana.  It was a great time with great friends.  So at one point I was getting a temporary tattoo from my favorite (only) local brewery.  Pretty Childish, I know.  At the same time, there was also a girl, about my age, also getting a tattoo, and a ridiculous dialogue went as follows.

Girl: "I think you're supposed to wet your arm first."

Guy giving tattoo: "No, it's better if you do it dry"

Girl: "That's what she said."

(A brief pause)

Girl (to me): "Never mind, that would hurt"

Me: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

What a ridiculous day.

I've Had Some Friends

"I've had some friends, some that I hardly know, but we've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world." -Rise Against, Swing Life Away (My high school senior song!)

Have there ever been truer words spoken?  Throughout the course of one's life, everyone has the opportunity to meet great people and gain great friendships(My saber tooth tiger has probably known a lot more people than I have).  However, due to various circumstances, we are often forced to say "goodbye" to those friends at some point.  It may be a friend that you have known for years, like throughout middle school and high school.  It may be a friend that you have only had the pleasure of knowing for a couple months or weeks or less. Sometimes you know when a friendship as it is is ending.  Other times, you leave and then, for some reason or another, you just lose contact with the person. But does the length of a friendship really matter at all?  As long as you've had the opportunity to make some great memories with a person, isn't it a complete success?

Unfortunately, in the past few weeks I have seen two great people move away to pursue greater opportunities elswhere.  This got me feeling nostalgic and looking back, not only at the great times with the afformentioned 2 people, but also all the great people I got to know throughout the days of high school and college, and the rest of my life's 23 years.  Some of these people I have been fortunate enough to keep contact with, and still get an opportunity to see occasionally.  Others, not so much.  But either way, I have some great memories I can always look back to for all of them.  And even though I may never see them again, or they may never be what they were to me before life took us in seperate directions, I know they will always hold a special place in my life, and may even be a part of making me into the person I am today.

So why do I grin when I play the third hole at Ironwood golf club in Hartland, MI?  Why do I shake my head when I hear the word "Gunz"?  Why do goats make me think about things like a bag of large panties and a reeses peanut butter cup, or a sore bright red ass, or a baby reindeer christmas decoration?  Why does the computer lab on the second floor of the engineering building at MSU give me a craving for a delicious Summer Shandy?  Why do the Backstreet Boys now make me think of getting kicked out of The Peanut Barrel and free Long Island Ice Teas?  Why do I turn red and shake my head with embarrassment when I hear "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias?  And why do now have a ridiculous fear of phonebooks?

Some know the answers to these questions.  Others do not, and that's ok.  These are just some of the memories I've had with great people.  And I guess they all came from times that I wouldn't trade for the world.  (Wow, would you like an extra slice of cheese with your blog post.)

I remember you and I miss you all.

Goodnight Cathy.

A Concert Going Experience

So last night I saw a concert in Detroit (Well, Auburn Hills, MI).  It was an interesting impromptu midweek trip.  Here was my experience.  Can you guess what concert I saw?

See I was there, you can tell from this crappy picture off my phone.

I took a car downtown (well, Auburn Hills) and I took what the offered me.  The lights go out and they can't be saved (but) we'll be glowing in the dark. And (they) turn the music up and the records on.  And all the kids they dance, they dance all night.  Listen as the crowd would sing, all the boys and all the girls, "You don't know how lovely you are."  And For some reason I can't explain, tears stream down your face, and every teardrop is a waterfall.  Then, finally, it was home, home where I wanted to go. But I feel my heart start beating to my favorite song, and it takes me back to the start.

EDIT: Goodnight Cathy.

A Late Night

Sorry Saber Tooth Tiger and Friends, but my post will be a little short tonight.   I had a late night with some great friends at a great local Downtown bar, The Dash-In. We had the opportunity to see some local song writers perform and accept critique from the audience.  It was an interesting experience, some were pretty good, others not so much. I would stay up late and give a full bedtime story, however, I'm making an impromptu midweek trip to Michigan tomorrow, and I need to get some sleep.  But don't worry my friends, I have a few fantastic posts coming your way, including the story of the Mayor and the Mrs., as well as a post that might have a little more of a depressing tone to it, but enough nostalgia to keep a slight grin on your face.  Both of these topics were discussed among good people tonight, and I look forward to sharing more.  Well, there is always tomorrow, so stay tuned.  You could always just read matthewtwhuang.com to tide you over.

Goodnight Cathy.